transcending your anger

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As a regular human being with mood swings and annoyances, I have to deal with what I would call unnecessary emotional flare-ups every now and then. Today it was anger. I worked what felt like a 24-hour day where some beings were behaving ridiculously, then my podcasts refused to play, and my body felt like spaghetti noodles and due to this pasta-like body of mine, I was unable to go to the gym, which was a promise I had made to myself pre-limp fish syndrome. So naturally, I felt lazy and useless, started complaining, spent my walk to my vehicle talking more smack and then got mad at myself for flaking on my gym session, then topped it off by getting mad at someone else for not waiting on me hand and foot like the princess that I thought I was in that moment.

While I believe it is completely normal and ok to be angry if you have a legitimate reason to be and I think it’s important to express and feel your emotions, I don’t like to succumb to a bad mood just because life doesn’t go as expected. As someone who is trying to become the best version of themselves, I don’t want to spend my time choosing to be pissy or grumpy when it is easily fixable.

I realized on my way home I was in a funk and I had two directions I could go in; A) stay mad, curse the world, run over the bicyclist next to my car, and then blame him for sending me to jail or B) get over myself and spend the rest of my evening transcending my unwanted anger into something productive, creative or relaxing. Luckily, I chose the latter.

I began by getting comfy and taking my dog out for a walk. Nature is such an amazing and healing gift that we all have access to and I can definitely vouch for its therapeutic effects. Not only did I get a chance to leave what seemed like smothering surroundings due to feeling overwhelmed, but today was also a full (ish) moon and the temperature was mild, perfect for an evening walk. In other words, it was beautiful out. I was able to figure out my podcast situation and turned on an episode which helped me with my tendency to ruminate in my negative thoughts and stories my squirrel brain creates, while also educating myself on a topic of my interest. By listening to someone else, it allows me to focus my attention on them rather than having my thoughts snowball into a catastrophic avalanche of make believe.

Once I finished my walk I slowly noticed myself going back to feeling yucky so I decided to be productive. I pulled out my laptop and got to work on my website and business. Even though I felt slightly better for walking my dog, I knew that I would definitely feel better after working on something beneficial to my career. Basically, a task with a fruitful outcome.

Music also helps my anger to dissipate, and honestly what I listen to is always different. My playlist of choice will be dependent on the time of the day and whether or not I have obligations to tend to. If I have to go somewhere and be expected to act like a sociable human being or stay awake then I will play something to pump me up. If I am able to go home and plop then I can put on something soothing to help me relax while the anger melts away. Lately, I’ve been listening to this Focus playlist on my Spotify app, especially while I am working or in the mornings when I’m starting my day.

The last remedy I used to release my anger was the art of writing, journaling, blogging, or whatever you want to call it. I’ve written in journals since I was a child and I know that getting my feelings out on paper allows me to be really vulnerable, honest with myself and helps me to see the situation more clearly. Once I’ve written (or typed) it out, I’m able to get out of my head where I would otherwise be replaying the same nightmare over and over again. I also think that by sharing my experiences and vulnerabilities with others, that it allows me to create connections and in turn form a sense of community. I know when I am feeling “some type of way” that I usually will go online and google said mood and find articles or blog posts that will help me to cope or flip the emotion around to something more helpful. At the very least, I am able to find new strategies that I can implement in the future for when I am ready and able to do so. Because let’s be honest, sometimes we just want to feel sorry for ourselves.

So where am I now? Well, my anger is almost entirely gone, and I know most of it was completely made up in my head. But I also remembered some important truths. I realized that I can’t spend my evenings squawking my beak about pointless or negative situations that I have no control of.  While I can’t dictate how others behave, I do have power over how I react and I can choose to restrain from taking part in any undesirable behaviors that hinder my growth. I saw my unpleasant mood as a teacher, and rediscovered ways that can help me become stronger and happier in my day to day life. For me specifically, I was also able to take into account my Buddhist practice. I believe that every action or cause has an effect, so if I spend my time saying or doing something hurtful, then I can surely expect it to come back and bite me in my sore rear.

I hope this post was humoring to you and you leave here feeling better than when you came. As I mentioned before, these ideas to help transcend anger and bad moods are better suited for mild conditions of ungratefulness, as well as feeling spoiled and irritated. I do have some experience on getting over depression and other more severe mental health issues which I can share if you are interested. Please comment below if you have any questions or if you would like to share your ideas on how to get out of a funk.

 

Love always,

Mabes