My relationship with money (or lack of) has been quite the roller coaster for my entire existence. It wasn’t until I started to do self-development and learned about the law of attraction and abundance that I realized I had a very negative and unhealthy relationship with my finances and my beliefs about abundance. The truth is, that abundance and financial wealth is available to anyone who wishes to have it. But it is our deep-rooted thoughts and beliefs towards wealth that will determine the outcome. I had to do (and am still doing) a lot of work to rewrite my money story, and to learn how to develop and maintain a healthy relationship to money. I came from a family that had a fear and lack mindset towards abundance which then led me to developing a victim woe-is-me mindset. This then turned into an addiction to stealing and battling with being a shopaholic and impulsive spending. I believed that I didn’t deserve money because of my past as a teenager. I was petrified of money and the debt I had racked up. I thought that even if I did have money, then I had to spend it all immediately, leaving me with nothing. I had these subconscious beliefs surrounded by fear, shame, anxiety and guilt about money so that is exactly what I manifested, over and over, until I finally decided to put a stop to it, and so can you.
What is your money story?
The first step to getting your finances in order is to figure out what your money story is. How do you feel about money, what beliefs do you have and where did you pick up these beliefs from? Do you have an abundance mindset or a lack mindset? Do you hate or fear money? Do you believe that you deserve abundance? Do you think that only a specific type of person can live abundantly, but not you? Do you think that you need to step on other people’s toes in order to become financially wealthy? Dig deep inside of yourself to realize what your thoughts and feelings are towards money. What unhealthy habits do you have with money; materialism and impulsive shopping, always lending money, stealing, or refusing to ever look at your bank account? Are you afraid to add up your debts or to check your bank accounts? Meditate, journal or speak to someone you trust about whether you are using money as a coping or numbing mechanism and why you are doing so. Do you need to talk to a financial advisor, a therapist or an accountant? Decide if you need to get a second job or a new job. Come to terms with what you are doing now that needs to stop in order for you to live healthier and wealthier.
Separate your beliefs from those you’ve picked up along the way.
After figuring out your money story, it is time to remove any ideas, feelings or beliefs about money that you have picked up or learned from your environment that aren’t yours. What was your parents’ relationship to money, and are you harboring those feelings inside of you? Did you ever hear or learn that money was dirty, that rich people are bad or you have to work extremely hard to be successful and wealthy? Figure out if these beliefs are yours, from your personal experiences, or if they are something you picked up from your immediate environment. Begin to separate the two. Thank those beliefs that are not yours for coming into your life and doing their job, but that they are no longer working for you and it is time to release them.
Once you have written out and read your money story you can work on forgiving yourself. The thing about forgiveness is that you cannot forgive anyone in your life until you have completely forgiven yourself. You need to know that you have done the best that you could at that time with the knowledge you had, the understanding of that knowledge and with the awareness that you had. That time has come and gone, and you have accepted it for what it is and you know that you can now do better. It is time to know what your worth is. It is ok to let go of the past, give yourself permission to release it fully. Know that you are worthy and deserving of abundance and that it is attainable and always available to you. Know that you are not taking from others by attracting more wealth and abundance into your life. Everyone wants and needs different things in their life, no two people are asking for the same circumstances- so you need to know that you are never taking from others by wanting more for yourself. Love yourself fully and forgive yourself. Allow the tension, anxiety, fear and hatred to melt off and out of your body. It is time for a fresh new start.
What do you want money to do for you?
What do you want from money and abundance? This will be different for everyone. For me, I want to always have access to abundance- whether it is financially, or through creativity, ideas, people and opportunities. I want to never go without, and I want to always have enough money to live the way that I choose to. I don’t want to worry about living pay check to paycheck, not being able to travel or unable to experience new things, being scared of over drafting if I try to pay my bills, or always saying no to meeting with loved ones at a café. I want to be able to afford to eat organically, nutritiously, and sustainably. I want to be able to save money, and I want to eradicate all of my debt from credit cards and school loans. I want to be able to afford any trainings, education or certifications to further my knowledge and increase the success in my personal businesses. I want to own my own beautiful home. I want to help others; donating to charities and help to retire my parents.
Practice gratitude and Affirmations
Now that you know what you want, you can start to practice the power of law of attraction and being grateful. There is a saying that says “what makes you think you deserve more when you cannot appreciate what you already have.” This quote is true in so many ways. One of the reasons why I have racked up so much debt was because I was never appreciative for what I had. I was always comparing myself to others, and I always wanted more. I was never satisfied, and I used money and shopping as way to buy my love and friendships while also numbing myself emotionally. I was addicted to the rush I got from stealing and shopping-as well as the feeling of emptiness and guilt that came afterwards. It was a toxic cycle. When you practice gratitude you are telling yourself, your environment and the universe that you are happy, grateful and appreciative of what you have. You are saying, feeling and believing that you are thankful, which in turn will not only increase your happiness but will allow you to open wide and receive even more. Gratitude shows you that you don’t need to be chasing materialism or buying relationships in order to be “happy” because you have enough and are enough as is. It will also help to shift your mindset to a less is more and quality over quantity lifestyle. For me, it also helped me to realize that I was better and happier with living a minimal lifestyle, and to surround myself with only things that I truly loved- as opposed to my hoarding and materialistic lifestyle that I had in the past. I like to practice gratitude while walking. I also love the book called “The five minute journal,” as well as writing down three things I am grateful for each day on a sheet of paper or in my journal. I want to incorporate waking up and being grateful and going to bed grateful by sharing my gratitude list with my loved one. It is important to find a way that you love and that works with your specific lifestyle. Find a balance between effort and ease.
Affirmations are also a great way to help you shift your mindset into a healthier one. Believe it or not but saying or thinking things like I am always broke, I can’t afford that, or I never have money are affirmations. They are affirmations that are confirming what you fear most-lack! By shifting your perspective and thoughts- you are able to relearn helpful and healthier beliefs and change your subconscious to follow in suit. Trust me, at first it will feel corny, foreign, and even uncomfortable but the outcome will be extremely fruitful. Two of my much-loved affirmations for abundance are “money comes to me easily and frequently,” and “I am open and ready to receive.” I like to say them during my nature walks with my pup, or like a mantra during a meditation. You can also write them down over and over in your journal. One of my favorite ways is to listen to affirmations during my sleep.
Write a love letter to money
This is one of my favorite yet oddest activities to help me practice living in abundance. Write out a love letter to money. Talk about your past beliefs and issues you had with it and write about your forgiveness. Tell money that you are sorry for the way you treated and acted towards it in the past. Then start professing your love. Let money know you are ready for a fresh start, that you are worthy and deserving of abundance. Write that you are no longer scared or angry. Let it know that you will keep up with your finances daily- by checking your accounts and keeping an up to date list of your debt. Let abundance know that you are so happy, grateful and excited for the future to attain all that you wish to have.
Reap the benefits
This practice and lifestyle change is about consistency. The more you do it the stronger it will become, the more you will start to believe it and the quicker you will see it manifest.
Thank you for reading this post and I hope it gave you a new perspective and some ideas on how to help you have a healthy relationship with wealth and abundance. Be sure to leave any questions or other tips in the comments below!