avoiding burnout

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Burnout, also known as long term exhaustion, is a result of chronic stress and has been shown to be affected by many factors. Stress is inevitable but our reaction to is completely in our control. Read below for some ways to help diminish your chances of crashing and burning.

Know your stress triggers.

Make a list of everything that comes to mind that you know of that triggers your stress- it can be things such as being overbooked at work, miscommunication, skipping meals, or neglecting yourself. It is very important to know what grinds your gears and stresses you out so that you can begin to take control of everything that is in your power and learn to work with or release things that are not. Being aware will help you to plan ahead when you see something coming versus getting sucker punched by something you never realized was rushing at you full force.

Know when to relax.

For women, we have 4 cycles throughout the month; “autumn,” “winter,” “spring,” and “summer” apply to us. The end of autumn occurs after the harvest, where we are beginning to slow down. We are in our “PMS” state and getting ready to transition into “winter” or our menstrual cycle. Afterwards, the “spring” is the end of our menstrual cycle, and we are slowly coming out of hibernation- these seasons are best spent slowing down, embracing solitude, and exerting less of our energy. “Summer” is when we feel most creative, passionate, energized, and social. I make sure to schedule most of my business during this time and slow down accordingly thereafter.

Practice daily self-care.

Remember that we can only show up in this world to the extent that we show up for ourselves. Giving until we are completely depleted and not giving to ourselves is a complete disservice to everyone, especially everyone in our life. This is why it is important to cultivate a list of self-care practices that we can do on a daily basis- and be adamant about them when we are stressed. Some of the practices that I incorporate into my daily routine include chanting, meditation and time in nature. Other times it can be journaling, vedging out on rom coms, treating myself to a solo date, or pampering myself at home. Be sure to take time to make your list so that you are always armed with your bag of tricks when cortisol levels spike.

Tap into your feminine energy.

All humans have masculine and feminine energy. The masculine helps you to be a go getter, a boss, a leader, a provider etc. while the feminine is about flow, being not doing, and getting in tune with your sensual and nurturing side. It is extremely vital to transition out of your masculine energy that you may tap into while at work- and transition into your feminine state when you leave the work place, especially if your innate nature is feminine and you have a partner at home who has a dominant masculine energy. The two of you will always butt heads- and can even deteriorate your relationship- when you are both inhabiting the same masculine energy. Allow your self to feel intuitive, to receive, and be flexible once you get home. Slip into something sexy, get creative and give yourself permission to wind down.

Work hard but play harder.

I recently listened to a podcast episode about how it is proven that you can release stress and anxiety through play. Charlie Hoehn, author of Play It Away and Play for a Living, talks about how he was on the verge of burnout, depression, and anxiety for a long time despite having “made it” in the career world. He tried everything and was always prescribed medications to “get better” but nothing worked until he started to incorporate play into his life and everything transformed from there. This episode inspired me to create a jar of “play date ideas for couples” and it contains playful dates such as creating a fort in our living room, star gazing, night time tag and playing racket ball. I am truly blessed to have a partner who is as playful as I am, and it is definitely one of the secrets to keeping a relationship feeling young and fresh in my opinion. Another option I learned from this episode is to list all of the things you used to love spending your time doing as a child; it could be nature, playing games with friends, or alone time creating art or building something. Then, try to slowly incorporate these ideas back into your life as an adult and watch your stress melt away!

Release pent up energy.

Sometimes when our cortisol spikes and stressors overwhelm us it can quickly turn us into a red eyed raging monster full of anger and easily irritable. It’s important to have an exercise routine- and making at least one of those options something high intensity to release aggressive energy. You can do sprints, hit a tennis ball with all your might into a wall, learn martial arts, dance to heal the lower chakras, and even have sex. All of these can help you to let go of anger and dissolve stress so that it doesn’t begin to blind you and melt into the other areas of your life.

Have a supportive network.

Relationships in my opinion are the most important facet to our lives as human beings. We thrive on connection and community- and it is imperative to learn how to positively communicate with one another in order to make relationships work. Whether it is our mother, our partner or our best friends- having support can make a tremendous difference in our stress levels. Sometimes we just need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, other times we need to hear ourselves vent and say everything out loud before we can (with the help of a loved one) put a situation into perspective or make a decision. Other times we just need some love and affection or a night out with friends to help us get out of our heads. Regardless of what the situation calls for, make sure that you are always working to establish good relationships where you can depend on each other for support when the time comes and be sure to thank them when it does.

Thank you for reading! Let's all take care of ourselves so that we can show up in this world as the greatest versions of ourselves. Be sure to leave your specific tips below.

 

Love always,

Mabes

 

transcending your anger

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As a regular human being with mood swings and annoyances, I have to deal with what I would call unnecessary emotional flare-ups every now and then. Today it was anger. I worked what felt like a 24-hour day where some beings were behaving ridiculously, then my podcasts refused to play, and my body felt like spaghetti noodles and due to this pasta-like body of mine, I was unable to go to the gym, which was a promise I had made to myself pre-limp fish syndrome. So naturally, I felt lazy and useless, started complaining, spent my walk to my vehicle talking more smack and then got mad at myself for flaking on my gym session, then topped it off by getting mad at someone else for not waiting on me hand and foot like the princess that I thought I was in that moment.

While I believe it is completely normal and ok to be angry if you have a legitimate reason to be and I think it’s important to express and feel your emotions, I don’t like to succumb to a bad mood just because life doesn’t go as expected. As someone who is trying to become the best version of themselves, I don’t want to spend my time choosing to be pissy or grumpy when it is easily fixable.

I realized on my way home I was in a funk and I had two directions I could go in; A) stay mad, curse the world, run over the bicyclist next to my car, and then blame him for sending me to jail or B) get over myself and spend the rest of my evening transcending my unwanted anger into something productive, creative or relaxing. Luckily, I chose the latter.

I began by getting comfy and taking my dog out for a walk. Nature is such an amazing and healing gift that we all have access to and I can definitely vouch for its therapeutic effects. Not only did I get a chance to leave what seemed like smothering surroundings due to feeling overwhelmed, but today was also a full (ish) moon and the temperature was mild, perfect for an evening walk. In other words, it was beautiful out. I was able to figure out my podcast situation and turned on an episode which helped me with my tendency to ruminate in my negative thoughts and stories my squirrel brain creates, while also educating myself on a topic of my interest. By listening to someone else, it allows me to focus my attention on them rather than having my thoughts snowball into a catastrophic avalanche of make believe.

Once I finished my walk I slowly noticed myself going back to feeling yucky so I decided to be productive. I pulled out my laptop and got to work on my website and business. Even though I felt slightly better for walking my dog, I knew that I would definitely feel better after working on something beneficial to my career. Basically, a task with a fruitful outcome.

Music also helps my anger to dissipate, and honestly what I listen to is always different. My playlist of choice will be dependent on the time of the day and whether or not I have obligations to tend to. If I have to go somewhere and be expected to act like a sociable human being or stay awake then I will play something to pump me up. If I am able to go home and plop then I can put on something soothing to help me relax while the anger melts away. Lately, I’ve been listening to this Focus playlist on my Spotify app, especially while I am working or in the mornings when I’m starting my day.

The last remedy I used to release my anger was the art of writing, journaling, blogging, or whatever you want to call it. I’ve written in journals since I was a child and I know that getting my feelings out on paper allows me to be really vulnerable, honest with myself and helps me to see the situation more clearly. Once I’ve written (or typed) it out, I’m able to get out of my head where I would otherwise be replaying the same nightmare over and over again. I also think that by sharing my experiences and vulnerabilities with others, that it allows me to create connections and in turn form a sense of community. I know when I am feeling “some type of way” that I usually will go online and google said mood and find articles or blog posts that will help me to cope or flip the emotion around to something more helpful. At the very least, I am able to find new strategies that I can implement in the future for when I am ready and able to do so. Because let’s be honest, sometimes we just want to feel sorry for ourselves.

So where am I now? Well, my anger is almost entirely gone, and I know most of it was completely made up in my head. But I also remembered some important truths. I realized that I can’t spend my evenings squawking my beak about pointless or negative situations that I have no control of.  While I can’t dictate how others behave, I do have power over how I react and I can choose to restrain from taking part in any undesirable behaviors that hinder my growth. I saw my unpleasant mood as a teacher, and rediscovered ways that can help me become stronger and happier in my day to day life. For me specifically, I was also able to take into account my Buddhist practice. I believe that every action or cause has an effect, so if I spend my time saying or doing something hurtful, then I can surely expect it to come back and bite me in my sore rear.

I hope this post was humoring to you and you leave here feeling better than when you came. As I mentioned before, these ideas to help transcend anger and bad moods are better suited for mild conditions of ungratefulness, as well as feeling spoiled and irritated. I do have some experience on getting over depression and other more severe mental health issues which I can share if you are interested. Please comment below if you have any questions or if you would like to share your ideas on how to get out of a funk.

 

Love always,

Mabes