In the past you’ve always petrified me, and I felt hopeless about the power that you held over me. I witnessed you tear my family apart. You were always blamed for the biggest problems on this planet. I watched my family and then myself become controlled by you; desperate, needy, stressed, worried, fearful, panicked and then resentful of you. Then one day you took everything away from us. I made a decision then that I needed to tell you to fuck off- I threw all the rules out the window and I became obsessed with materialism- using it to distract me and “cope” with my emotional wounds. I lusted over my superficial wealth and the latest thing on the market to the point that I didn’t care how I got it or who I hurt in the process. I treated you poorly by wasting you away on things that had no real value in my life. I felt that you were unreliable, that you could be there one moment and then the next you would be gone, so I spent you impulsively, racking up endless shame and guilt to compliment my growing debt. Nothing was ever enough, you always felt out of reach, unapproachable and something I was unworthy of. Evoking any gratitude for what I had was as likely as me visiting a faraway planet in another dimension. All I knew was greed and it was bottomless pit.
Now I know who you really are. I took the leap to heal our relationship, taking responsibility for my past and ending my lifelong addiction to being a victim. I know you are pure energy; love, abundance, the messenger and you are always everywhere and all around me. I have access to you whenever I want, and unlimited amounts. I know deep down that I do deserve you and I am worthy of you. I know that the work I will do for this planet will be matched by the immense amounts of abundance I will receive in return. Even though I still have work to do to release my subconscious beliefs about fear and lack, I love you and I am grateful for all that you have brought into my life and the lessons I have learned throughout our relationship. I know that as long as I continue to put in this healing work and treat you the way you deserve to be treated that you too will always be there for me. I trust in our Universe to give me exactly what I need to live my best and fullest life. I am abundance and I am open and ready to receive. I look forward to seeing you soon and for the beautiful, respectful, responsible and loving relationship that is blooming between us.
I love money, because I love myself.